Supposed to Do
I know that this had to end
But every now and then
I wish that we could try again
I wish that we could try again
Remember when we laid in bed
And you held my hand
You said you wished this’d never end
You said you wished this’d never end
And I did what I was supposed to do
What I was supposed to do
But I’m still without you
But I’m still without you
And I told the truth
Like you asked me to
But I’m still without you
But I’m still without you
D’you know when I look in your eyes
I can see the sky
Both beauty and my own demise
Both beauty and my own demise
With each message that you didn’t send
Felt my heart crumbling
But my love for you could never bend
No my love for you could never bend
And I did what I was supposed to do
What I was supposed to do
But I’m still without you
Yeah I’m still without you
And I told the truth
Like you asked me to
But I’m still without you
But I’m still without you
Bad Intent
Strange, isn’t it, how well we get along
We’re understood even when we’re wrong
Funny, isn’t it, how separate we must be
Hearts so close, but our bodies detached from reality
I want you now
No matter my bad intent
It happened quick, a revelation of a certain kind
This intensified beat inside your soul and mine
It’s overwhelming, you can feel it too
I’m not alone when I say I’m craving your truth
I want you now
No matter my bad intent
I need you now
But I know I can’t
And I know that you know
How good it could be
And I know that you know
How good it could be
I want you now
No matter my bad intent
I need you now
But I know I can’t
Run So Hard
Yeah I run so hard, run so hard
Thought I’d chase the rain that plagued me from the start
Yeah I run so hard, run so hard
Down that dusty, dirty two-lane boulevard
And you thought you had me back in Kalamazoo
If I could take that train back yeah I know what I’d do
I’d run so hard, run so hard
In a million years I never thought it’d come this far
Run so hard, run so hard
I can see those eyes shining through the jailhouse bars
And you thought you had me back in Kalamazoo
If I could take that train back yeah I know what I’d do
Can you justify the taking of another life
Out here in the darkness it’s the only way you know to survive
Walked up to your room, walked up to your room
Saw the pale white face of the waning November moon
Said I’ll be back here soon, I’ll be back here soon
Before you see me coming you will hear that timeless tune
He Wants To
It started one sided
On my side really
Infatuation’s like listening without fully hearing
So I picked what I wanted
Ignored all the rest
Why fuss over flaws when you can hide behind jest
But it’s all worn thin, I’m tired of it now
And I’m thinking of him less when he’s not a around
He wants to make believe
That I would never leave
The tables have turned
As one might say
But I gotta ask if he ever even liked me anyway
He can call me cold hearted
I’ve been there before
But being around him’s turned into a chore
He’s a good, good man and I’m a wretched old girl
He could do so much better in this beautiful world
He wants to make believe
That I would never leave
He, yeah he wants to, wants to make, make believe
He, yeah he wants to, wants to make, make believe
He wants to make believe
That I would never leave
He wants to make believe
That I would never leave
Bittersweet Love
Slowly I emerge
With cloudy eyes
Like breaking the surface
Where the ocean meets the sky
I saw him clear
As the moon at night
But only an outline remains
In the morning light
It’s as though your face
Sinks deep within
Leaving my heart heavy
And aching for you, my friend
Oh, how beautiful that ache
Descending on me from above
Like a ripe fruit my heart
Drips with bittersweet love
Drips with bittersweet love
My head is filled
With the softest words
I want to sing you
The prettiest song you’ve ever heard
But I’m helpless my dear
There’s little to do
But use these simple words
I miss you
It’s as though your face
Sinks deep within
Leaving my heart heavy
And aching for you, my friend
Oh, how beautiful that ache
Descending on me from above
Like a ripe fruit my heart
Drips with bittersweet love
Drips with bittersweet love
Holding On
It’s been a long, long time since I walked this way
And my mind it ain’t worked since yesterday
But I can’t get him out of my head
I can see him standing there all alone
With his dark hair, light eyes and man he’s grown
On me, he’s grown on me
And my heart slides down to the soles of my shoes
Each step pumps a beat of these terrible blues
Cuz he’s gone, he’s gone
For some goddamn reason, I just gotta keep holding on
He stood next to me as I watched them play
Some band that claimed they came from East LA
And he laughed as the lights came on
I remember his hands as they reached for me
They swallowed up my fingers to easily
And he led me through the crowd
And my heart slides down to the soles of my shoes
Each step pumps a beat of these terrible blues
Cuz he’s gone, he’s gone
For some goddamn reason, I just gotta keep holding on
After all we’ve said and after all we’ve done
I’m sitting here wishing that the rain don’t come
And wash it all away
Because the trees they bend and the sea it flows
But I’d wait a thousand years if you please don’t go
Away, don’t go away
Yea, my heart slides down to the soles of my shoes
Each step pumps a beat of these terrible blues
But he’s gone, he’s gone
For some goddamn reason, I just gotta keep holding on
Yea, for some goddamn reason, I just gotta keep holding on
Shame
A small incision made on the surface of my consciousness
Allowed a leak of some toxic poison I can’t resist and
It settles deep inside my bones I can’t get rid of it and
It works its way out through my mouth I try to swallow it and
Shame is a feeling I’m not very unfamiliar with
It drapes itself across me more than I’d like to admit and
It’s hard to see when it throws shade on my accomplishments
When will I, oh when will I grow out of it
Down this slope I slip and struggle to control myself
I feel the weight of it, yeah I’m worrying about my health and
Nothing seems to matter all those feelings that I felt and
Like ice my sense of purpose it all seems to melt and
Shame is a feeling I’m not very unfamiliar with
It drapes itself across me more than I’d like to admit and
It’s hard to see when it throws shade on my accomplishments
When will I, oh when will I grow out of it
My foot has taken up permanent residence inside my mouth
All I know about myself is now called into doubt and
I can’t even feel comfortable inside my own house and
Apparently good judgment is something I can live without
Shame is a feeling I’m not very unfamiliar with
It drapes itself across me more than I’d like to admit and
It’s hard to see when it throws shade on my accomplishments
When will I, oh when will I grow out of it
Heavy as Lead
He left with my mind last week,
Reached right in and took it to keep
And he turned on his heel before looking at me
And said “babe no it’s too late to weep”
Now this gap in my head it keeps growing
All this shelter can’t keep me from knowing
That those words were true that he told me
No, there’s nothing more unfolding
And it’s gone from my heart, like my mind from my head
And I could say a lot but I think it’s all said
You never saw me the way that I am and as I sit here I feel
Heavy as lead
I remember that summer I knew you
Everyday I got closer and we knew
That I’d fallen in love with a version of you
That had grown from a vision I’d had back at school
Yeah and Levon filled my ears that day
Crying out that the poor farmer had died in a way
So noble and true to return to the land
I could feel the warmth in the palm of my hand
And it’s gone from my heart, like my mind from my head
And I could say a lot but I think it’s all said
You never saw me the way that I am and as I sit here I feel
Heavy as lead
Standing on the shoulders of giants of old
Makes this a trying balancing act
And I can’t hold myself up now I’m tumbling, trying to be bold
And I gotta pick myself up at the place that I have rolled
Loving you never really seemed to me
To be anything other than the opposite of apathy
And now as I watch you leaving me with my mind in tow
I just can’t let it be
And it’s gone from my heart, like my mind from my head
And I could say a lot but I think it’s all said
You never saw me the way that I am and as I sit here I feel
Heavy as lead
Already Won
As a fiery red sun sets, we brush our fingers through the grass
What once was dewey now is dry, now the day has come and passed
“It’s peaceful here” you whisper, through the growing chirp of crickets
As I nod in acquiescence, the brittle grass makes me fidget
I gave you all I could allow
You’re draining all of my willpower
I’m gonna leave you now
I think back to older days and a strain burns through my heart
It seems to be a lifetime ago, but still has power to tear me apart
So silently I beg of you, to understand what’s been done
But I grip your hand as I realize, this war is already won
I gave you all I could allow
You’re draining all of my willpower
I’m gonna leave you now
I gave you all I could allow
You’re draining all of my willpower
I’m gonna leave you now
It's Up to You
It’s up to you, I hate that phrase
it’s lazy and a crutch you’ve used these days
It’s up you to figure out the place
Where we’ll eat dinner and talk face to face
It’s up to you to pick what we hear
You haven’t cared about music in a year
It’s up to you where we walk to now
If you could I know you’d walk right out of town
It’s up to you to pick the movie we see
You sit so close but feel so far away from me
It’s up to you to pick our bed’s quilt
The blanket to cover this home that we’ve built
And it’s up to you to decide when we go
It’s been four long years and there’s not much to show
Now I know it’s up to me to make a new start
To pick myself up and brush off the pieces of my very own, my very broken heart
Now I know it’s up to me to make a new start
To brush myself off and pick up the pieces of my very own, my very broken heart
I Must Say
They say the only thing we know
Is we don’t know anything
We could all be figments
It’s a funny thing
I could have made you up
Your face, your laugh, your hands
What seems out of my control
Could be in my command
And if that’s the case
And my darling it may
What a lovely imagination
I have I must say
The way you act so cool
And wear the crown
Might in fact be
The other way around
If I made up those lips
That push into mine
I’d admit in a second
That’d be just fine
And if that’s the case
And my darling it may
What a lovely imagination
I have I must say
It’s cliché to say
You’re too good to be true
But with love like yours
What can I do
And if that’s the case
And my darling it may
What a lovely imagination
I have I must say
And if that’s the case
And my darling it may
What a lovely imagination
I have I must say
I Don't Live Here Anymore
Rollin’ down this road
Pull my hat way down low
Shield my eyes from the sun
Filtered through my closed window
And I get this eerie feeling
So familiar to me know
It finds its way beneath my skin
And it lingers there somehow
And no, I don’t live here anymore
No, no I don’t live here anymore
Foreign to me all those years
That place is home away from here
Yellowed are my thoughts of you
Yeah they’re stale and dry and far and few
And the fibers seem to dissipate
As I find a way to separate
My thoughts for you and our clear fate
No I don’t feel love or even hate
And no, I don’t live here anymore
No, no I don’t live here anymore
Hope is a privilege I don’t deserve
Wishing for you would only serve
To deepen the divide you see
I know there’s nothing left for me
But your eyes will remain
A dull etching on my brain
And no, I don’t live here anymore
No, no I don’t live here anymore
Lofticries (Originally by Purity Ring)
Green, green thunder and the
Loud, loud rain
Lead our woes asunder
'Neath the proud, proud veins
Of trains let bleed the gunmen of our
Pumping earthly hearts
Wean or joys and plunder
Peel our shining teeth
Bid our hold on happiness
Beat weighty tests with lofty cries
Lofty cries with trembling thighs
Weepy chests with weepy sighs
Weepy skin with trembling thighs
You must be hovering over yourself
Watching us drip on each other's sides
Dear brother, collect all the liquids off of the floor
Use your oily fingers
Make a paste, let it form
Let it seep through your sockets and ears
Into your precious, ruptured skull
Let it seep, let it keep you from us
Patiently heal you
Patiently unreel you
Beat weighty tests with lofty cries
Lofty cries with trembling thighs
Weepy chests with weepy sighs
Weepy skin with trembling thighs
You must be hovering over yourself
Watching us drip on each other's sides
Dear brother, collect all the liquids off of the floor
Use your oily fingers
Pick up paste, let it form
Beat weighty tests with lofty cries
Lofty cries with trembling thighs
Weepy chests with weepy sighs
Weepy skin with trembling thighs
You must be hovering over yourself
Watching us drip on each other's sides
Dear brother, collect all the liquids off of the floor
Use your oily fingers
Pick up paste, let it form
Love's a Bitch
Is it a choice to let you go?
I asked myself so quietly
When free will seems impossible May I please blame fate entirely?
It’s not that I didn’t care for him
You know after all that time
But sometimes feelings lose their grip Like a knot that’s come untied
It was raining when I told him That our love had all dried up
He hung his head and wiped a tear And said I never gave a fuck
Anger, pleading and heavy sobs
I endured the whole affair Though I tried I just couldn’t cry
Maybe I really didn’t care
Love’s a bitch, but so am I
And I know I’ll be just fine
I’m on to the next one, break up and all It’s only a matter of time
Is it a choice to let you go?
I asked myself so quietly
When free will seems impossible May I please blame fate entirely?
Turn Your Head
Moving through the crowd I walk on eggshells
I can spot him laughing as somebody yells
And he tilts his head back at some old joke that Colin told
And I could have sworn he never would have showed
So I stop down by the bar and grab my drink
Yeah I need some fuel to help me sit and think
But all I can remember is what I used to have
And babe I want to turn your head so bad
I want to turn your head so bad
It’s funny how a man can make you weak
With one look it’s like I forgot how to breath
And I can’t believe I’m aching up inside
And thinking man I want him back in my life
And he knows exactly how he makes me feel
It’s like a skip on some old rusty movie reel
And with each go round I fall a little bit harder
Yeah I’d like to think I got a little bit smarter
But I want to turn your head so bad
So that whiskey warms me down to my bones
With this confidence I could never be alone
But I’m staring at myself across bar
And all I see’s a girl who’s gone too fucking far
And I dream of busting into that place
With high heels and some makeup on my face
But I grip my stool as I start to feel mad
And all I can think is that I want to turn your head so bad
And I want to turn your head so bad